My Tarot Journey

Tarot came into my life when I needed it the most.

I’d just come out of years of addiction and was learning to cope with a life that seemed dull, grey, and meaningless. When I got sober it felt like my life was over, like there was no way to enjoy myself anymore.

I needed something to lift my spirits, to bring some kind of magic back into my life.

One day I happened to wander off the street into a little mystical shop in Eltham in Southeast London, and there they were, the Tarot cards.

I'd been fascinated with them since I was a child, I'd always wanted to be able to read them.

After sobering up it was my goal to do things I'd dreamt of doing since being a child but was always too drunk to do. Seeing the cards there in the shop sparked something inside of me, I wanted them in my life.

I bought the cards from an unusually mean faced shop owner, The New Mythic Tarot, and I loved it so much. The only problem was, when I went through it at home, there were two King of Wands and a missing card, the three of cups as I recall.

I had to travel all the way back to the shop and the grumpy woman really didn't want to replace the deck, saying it was the fault of the manufacturer, not hers but after my other half was very persuasive on my behalf, she gave in.

It was a disappointing and rather negative way to attain my first deck which I hadn't really thought about until now. I remember feeling crappy because I always imagined someone who ran a shop like that would be all wise and lovely.

Anyway, I got my new cards home and adored them. I couldn't put them down. Something about them stirred a feeling of comfort inside me.

I spent a lot of time studying and reading every book I could get my hands on and filled many journals with notes.

I plucked up the courage to get a reading in central London from a professional Tarot reader who was a warm and friendly lady. Oddly I can’t remember anything about that reading.

I told her I was learning and she let me do a reading for her. She was so encouraging and said I was surprisingly good. That's all the validation I needed, and I started reading for everyone I could from that point onwards.

I would read all the time for people in person and by email, it felt like I’d found something I was actually good at for the first time in my life.

Then, like an idiot, I fell off the wagon, I can’t remember what happened, but drink had dragged me back in. It put a pause to my Tarot journey.

Once I sobered up again, I decided to follow my other childhood dreams, one was to do martial arts, the other was to become an artist. I did both.

The only martial arts school near me was Krav Maga. It was a rough bunch, and I regularly came home beaten up, but I got two belts in the process. The branch near me shut down in covid and soon after we moved across the country so that put a pause to my martial arts journey.

I've been an artist ever since though and apart from Tarot, it’s the other thing that brings me joy. I sell my art all over the world and get into some pretty good exhibitions.

I've been reading sporadically for people along the way but not as much as I would like, Tarot had fallen into the background of my life.

Recently we were on holiday. We'd waited all year to go on a week’s holiday to Wales to stay in a Caravan. My other half, Bella, got very ill with a cold the day we got there, and my arm swelled up with tendonitis, which I never had before, and it was so painful I couldn't even use that hand for holding cutlery to eat. I spent a night waiting in urgent care, but they couldn't do anything.

Bella felt quite badly done to that our holiday didn't go to plan, so she booked us another couple of days in a caravan in Devon. The day we went away, she got ill again, even worse than before and was in bed with flu the whole time.

It was autumn, I could see the sun setting over the sea through dark branches of nearly bare trees hanging onto the odd orange or yellow leaf here and there. I sat at the table which had a bench seat around three sides of it and a light above it. Rain pattered on the roof and a surprisingly realistic gas fire emulated flames in the living area giving a orange undulating glow to the space. I felt the urge to read the cards.

I'd been feeling quite sorry for myself, but the atmosphere made me feel good, I sipped on a cup of Lapsang tea that I’d got in a paper bag from a little deli where you measured out your own produce, and the shopkeeper weighed it at the counter.

I always had a deck with me, this time my trusty Morgan Greer. I laid out a spread for a general reading to get some kind of insight as to what was going on in my life. A strong feeling welled up inside of me of fulfilment and I felt completely warm and joyful inside just being there with the cards in the present moment.

I suddenly thought to myself, why did I let this slide, why isn't this a massive part of my life, it's the only activity apart from art that makes me feel this way.

The cards had called me back. They bring me joy every day and enrich my existence.

I was gutted when I realised that in a time of hardship, I'd sold all my tarot books, not that I need them to learn from, I can read the cards like the back of my hand, I just felt like I wanted to immerse myself in it fully again. I started gradually getting books on an e-reader, which I find easier to read in low light, but I regret not getting actual books as physical books are another love, so now I'm going to have to buy twice.

I realised I loved re-learning everything about the Tarot and loved getting new insights from the newer authors which have emerged since I went off the grid Tarot wise.

Even though I'm good with reading, I enjoy learning so much that I think another reason why I love Tarot is, it's like you can be a perpetual student. There are always ways to evolve. You can take or leave what you want, most stuff I leave, but it's nice to get new angles on things sometimes.

Also, because I'm pretty much an artist these days, I decided to bring my two worlds together. I’m now creating my own tarot deck, see here for more info.

Now I read cards or study every day, I've been reading for people again, I've got a dedicated reading area in my art studio. I'm also going to be doing email readings, writing on tarot, blogging, the odd video, reviews etc. I hope you can be a part of my Tarot Journey.

This website is a work in progress and will evolve over time.

Thanks for reading